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Jokes > Topics > P > Pregnancy Jokes

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Pregnancy · Babies · College · Luck
baby,boyI'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.
1 Comment · Details
Pregnancy · Breasts · Feet · Bladders
Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?

Yes, your bladder.
5 Comments · Details


Women · Men · Pregnancy · Eggs
girl,bikini:3Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Woman: "Unfertilized."
1 Comment · Details


Little Johnny · Homework · Period · Pregnancy
boy,soccerThe kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.

"It's a period" reported Johnnie.

"Well I can see that" she said. "but what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know" said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."
14 Comments · Details
Vacations · Pregnancy · Rednecks
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."
0 Comments · Details

Pregnancy Jokes
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