A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife
is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation
. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."
A lady in labour
is shouting the usual stuff: "Get this out of me!", "Give me the drugs!",... She turns to her boyfriend and says: "You did this to me you bastard!"
He replies casually: "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse
but you said 'Fuck Off! It'll be too painful!' Not laughing now are we!?"