Praying - 12 jokes
25 → Joke
In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist
heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall
to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace
between the Christians, Jews
and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."
7 → Joke
's family is sitting at the dinner table.
Father, "Can you please pray for dinner!"
Little Johnny, "Dear God. Please, please send clothes
for all those poor ladies in Dad’s computer. Amen!"
4 → Joke
A Baptist missionary
in Africa was just walking when he heard the ominous padding of a lion
"Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, "Grant in thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion."
In the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: "Oh Lord," he prayed, "I thank thee for the meal
which I am about to enjoy."
0 → Joke
A sinking ship's captain
: "Does anyone know how to pray?"
says he can pray.
Captain: "Ok priest, you pray. Everyone else will wear a life jacket. We are short of one."
2 → Joke
A girl asks her boyfriend
to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist
to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father
was a pharmacist."
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