Jokes - Deaths


 


PMS · Princess Diana · Mercedes · Deaths
Did you hear that Princess Diana was suffering from PMS?

Pulverized Mercedes Syndrome.
10 Comments · Details
Ghosts · Cemeteries · Parties · Deaths
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death ... we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
5 Comments · Details


Princess Diana · Wine · France · French · Boxes
What does Princess Diana and a bottle of French wine have in common?

They both came from France in a wooden box.
4 Comments · Details


Lawyers · Weights · Urns · Deaths · Pounds
What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.
0 Comments · Details
Cats · Deaths · Grandmas · Grannies · Vacations
catLenny went on vacation and asked Bobby to watch over his house. About a week later, Lenny calls home and asked "How's my cat?".

Bobby hesitated and sadly told Lenny his cat died.

"What?! You shouldn't have broke the news to me like that! You should have done it slowly. The first time I called, you should have told me he was on the roof. The second time I called, you should have said there was no way to get him down. The third time I called, you should have told me that you tried to get her off the roof, but she fell down and died," explained Lenny.

Bobby apologized and went about his day.

About a week later, Lenny called again and asked "How's my Granny?".

There was a long silence and then Bobby replied. "Well, she's on the roof."
2 Comments · Details


Death JokesJokes 26 - 30 of 30