"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.