| Sex · Wives · Husbands · Married · Rules A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not." |
· Details | Marriages · Wives · Husbands · Married "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married." |
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| Marriages · Bitches · Sex · Married · BeerTwo married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: "Have you ever said something when you meant to say something else?"
"How do you mean?" said Alec.
"Well, see the other day, instead of two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked for two pickets to Titsberg"
"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Alec. "Last week I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say 'Pass me the Sugar.' But what came out was "You bitch, you've ruined my life!!!" |
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"Daddy," a little boy asked his father. "How much does it cost to get married?"
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?