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Friend jokes

97 jokes about friends



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A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.

"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through … Why change now?"

The man leaned forward and explained: "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."

25     → Joke


How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Soak it in petrol and set it on fire.

28     → Joke


A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

25     → Joke


Whats the difference between a used car salesman and a software salesmen?

The used car salesman knows when he's lying.

27     → Joke


Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

10     → Joke


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