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One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I can guess your age."

The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.

"Pull down your pants," she says.

He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old."

"That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?"

"You told me yesterday."

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Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?

That's how dogs spend their lives.

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mastiffs

Proposal

A man lying on a nude beach noticed a little girl eyeballing his private bits as she approached, so he covered them with a newspaper.

When the little girl was close enough, she asked the man what he was hiding under the newspaper, to which he replied, "it's just my little bird."

The little girl asked if she could see the little bird, to which the man replied that she could not, because it was resting.

The man eventually fell asleep, forgetting about the incident.

A while later, the man woke up in a hospital bed, in AGONY, and cried out, "what HAPPENED???"

Just then, the little girl stepped in and said, "I tried to play with your little bird, but it SPIT at me, so I broke its neck, crushed its eggs, and burned its nest..."     ~ Dreisdale

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