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Top 50 Jokes about Friends



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A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions.

"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he sighed, "Every time."

11     Sex Jokes


The sad life a penis: "I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, and my relatives are nuts, my neighbor is an asshole and my best friend’s a cunt!"

17     Penis Jokes


Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside.

One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.'

The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.'

When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.'

24     Preacher Jokes


What is the difference between friends and best friends?

When you are in hospital, friends ask: "How are you?"

Best friends ask: "Hey brother, how is the nurse?"

4     Nurse Jokes


What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your salad?

Finding half a caterpillar!

4     Caterpillar Jokes






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