A young man
was hired by a supermarket and reported for his first day of work
. The manager
greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, then gave him a broom
"Son, your first job
will be to sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college
graduate," the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."
approached a very beautiful woman
in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife
here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits
like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"
was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man
at the checkout said, "I bet you're single
, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly
," replied the man.
Jim had an awful day fishing
on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman
, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife
that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout."
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper
and son in supermarket.
"Dad, what are these?"
"That's a 3pack of condoms
son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
"What about the 6pack dad?"
"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."
"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"
"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."