"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."27 Marriage Jokes
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"14 Fishing Jokes
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout."
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper tonight."
Yo momma is so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.8 Yo Momma Jokes
Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"30 Little Johnny Jokes Jokes
Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"