32 jokes about suns27 Chuck Norris jokes
9 blonde jokes
, a brunette, and a redhead are interviewing for a new NASA
experiment on sending women to different planets
First, the panel of scientists
asks the brunette, "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you choose and why?" She answers promptly, "I would go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
Next, the panel asks the redhead the same question. Without any hesitation, she replies, "I'd like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings."
Finally, the NASA scientists ask the blonde the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. After pondering for several minutes, she finally answers, "I would go to the sun."
Several scientists suppress a laugh, but the lead interviewer, trying to take the blonde seriously, explains, "Well, if you went to the sun, you'd burn to death almost instantaneously."
The blond smirks and puts her hands on her hips. "Don't be stupid! I'd go at night
26 blonde jokes
are in a desert
The brunette says, "I brought some water so we don't get dehydrated."
The redhead says, "I brought some suntan
lotion so we don't get sunburned."
Then the blonde says I brought a car
door." The other girls said, "Why did you bring that?" Then the blonde says, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."
22 duck jokes
are in the duck
blind and a bird
flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck ... it's probably a duck," shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.
The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist
looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmmm ... green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound ... might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.
A third bird flies over. The surgeon
raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."
62 sex jokesNext page Jokessun sayings
people get married. During the first week of marriage
, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife
decides to find a solution.
"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex
with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast
one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea. Now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis
one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."