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    Nuns · Hooters · Penis · Bartenders
    A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and dancing, but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

    However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?

    The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should ..."

    "Why not?" the nun asked.

    "Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and his most private parts are covered only by a fig leaf."

    "Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other way."

    So, the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she preceded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

    She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

    "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

    "But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

    "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?"
    3 Comments · Details
    Nuns · Cucumbers · Suspicion · Definitions
    What's the definition of suspicion? A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
    2 Comments · Details


    Batman · Drinking · Nuns
    One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home he spotted a nun walking down the road.

    After looking at her twice he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.

    Some people passing by spotted this and called the police.

    As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs he looked back and said, "I thought you'd be tougher than that, Batman."
    7 Comments · Details


    Missing · God · Nuns · Golf
    A guy and a nun go golfing. The guy hits his ball into the water. He says "Damn! I missed!" The nun replies "Don't swear. God can hear you." So the guy is like "Whatever".

    He hits the ball again. It goes into the trees. "Damn! I missed!" "Don't swear, God can hear you!" "Whatever"

    So, he hits his ball once again, but it only goes about 4 yards. "AARRRGH!!!! SHIT!!!!"

    Ok, so about now, God gets mad. He throws down a thunderbolt. It hits the nun.

    "Damn! I missed!"
    3 Comments · Details
    Children · Apples · Cookies · God · Nuns
    children_2.gifThe children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
    7 Comments · Details

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