There was a prostitute on the beach
without any arms or legs, and crying
. A man
came along and asked her what the matter was. She tells him that she has not been hugged before, so he picks her up and hugs
The next day she is still there crying, the same man comes along and asks her what the matter is. She tells him that she has not been kissed before, so he picks her up and kisses her.
The next day she's still there crying, and same man comes along again. He asks her sternly what the matter is and she tells him that she has not been fucked before. So the man picks her up, walks to the end of the pier, and throws her in the sea and says: "Now you're fucked."
Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic
school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!"
Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!"
"A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed.
Sister Catherine breathed a sight of relief and said "Whew! Thank God! I thought you said 'A Protestant'!"
When I was in London a few months ago, I was approached by a prostitute as I left a club
on one of the back streets of Soho. Mainly interested in checking the rate of exchange I assure you, I asked: "How much?"
"It'll cost ya twenty quid" replied the tart.
"American Express?" I inquired.
She gave me an appraising look and said: "You can go as fast as you like" .
I came out of a shop munching on a huge pork
A tramp was sitting on the pavement, he looked up at me and said: "I have not eaten for 3 days!"
I said: "I wish i had your willpower!"
came across an adulteress
crouching in a corner with a crowd around her preparing to stone her to death. Jesus stopped them and said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fired off a stone at the adulteress. At which point Jesus looked over and said, "Mother
! Sometimes you really tick me off!"