Two guys work for the city
: one furiously digs a hole, the other quickly fills the hole.
A confused passerby asks: "Why do you dig a hole and fill it up again?"
The digger leans on his shovel and replies: "The lazy jackass
who plants the trees is sick again today."
A guy walks past a mental hospital
and hears a moaning voice "... 13 ... 13 ... 13 ..."
looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye
. The moaning voice then groaned "... 14 ... 14 ... 14 ..."
dies and goes to heaven
. As St. Peter is processing her, she hears a woman screaming in pain. She looks in the room and sees them drilling holes in the woman's shoulders to fasten the wings. Then she hears a man screaming and sees them drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo.
"I do not want to go to heaven", she tells St. Peter. "I'll go to the other place."
"You don't want to go there", he replies. "They rape and sodomize you down there."
"I don't care", she answers. "At least I already have holes for that."