1) Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 2) Form a loose grip. 3) Keep your head down. 4) Avoid a quick back swing. 5) Stay out of the water. 6) Try not to hit anyone. 7) If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. 8) Don't stand directly in front of others. 9) Quiet please ... while others are preparing to go. 10) Don't take extra strokes.
Now, that's very good. Flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.
Golf rules for beginners:
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?