Funny · Short · New · Top
It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Jim
was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse
loudspeaker: "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the men
's tee, please!"
Jim was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement: "Would the man on the women
's tee kindly back up the men's tee!"
Jim had had enough. He shouted: "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!"
1) Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2) Form a loose grip.
3) Keep your head down.
4) Avoid a quick back swing.
5) Stay out of the water.
6) Try not to hit anyone.
7) If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8) Don't stand directly in front of others.
9) Quiet please ... while others are preparing to go.
10) Don't take extra strokes.
Now, that's very good. Flush the urinal
, go outside, and tee off.
What is the best time to wean the baby
When you see teeth
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted.5
"I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant, and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."
The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle."
"And do you know what happened?"the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at ..." replied the doctor.
There are four kinds of sex
HOUSE SEX: You and your spouse are newlyweds and you fuck
all over the house.BEDROOM
SEX: You and your spouse have been married for a few years, have settled down, and only fuck in the bedroom.
HALL SEX: You and your spouse have been married for fifteen years and say, "Fuck you!" when you pass in the hall.
COURTROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for twenty years, your spouse's lawyer
fucks you out of everything you've got.