Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.
After the doctor delivered Chuck Norris he slapped Chuck Norris on the butt. While he realized that Chuck was already breathing he did it merely for posterity.
The Japanese are the only other group of people who have made a worse mistake!