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Bob saw his doctor
and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient.
"In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional."
With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick
the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery.
The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen" said Bob.
charged with assault
and battery insisted at his trial
that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer
, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and flung him over the table.
He then faced judge
and jury and calmly declared, "I would say it was about one-tenth that hard."
Q: Why did the energizer battery take a shortcut through the Twilight Zone?1
A: Because he had to Do Do Do Do, Do Do Do Do; and he kept going and going and going. ~ Peach
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband
always insisted on shutting off the light
Well, after 20 years the wife
felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device ... a dildo
! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I’ll explain the toy ... you explain the kids."