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Condoms · Camels · Smoking · Sex
dromedariesTwo old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.
14 Comments · Details
Bus Drivers · Smoking · Cigarettes · Babies
baby,girlThe bus driver announces that smoking is prohibited and punishable by a fine of several hundred dollars.

Suddenly, a baby starts crying.

"Come on kid," the bus driver said "you're only 6 months old, you can make it without a cigarette."
7 Comments · Details


Worms · Drinking · Smoking · Sex
girl,sexyFour worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.

The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day: The first worm-dead. Second worm-dead. Third worm-dead. Fourth worm-alive.

Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms!
0 Comments · Details


Lubricants · Sex · Smoking
dominatrixWhat should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use a lubricant.
0 Comments · Details

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