Us jokes

How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?

Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

i just said she's pregnant, i don't say she have unprotected sex.     ~ hola

Q. What is green and goes camping?

A. A brussel scout     ~ D-TRAIN

A man is backpacking through Ireland, when he sees a bar, and goes in for a drink. He sees an old man, who breaks the silence.
"You see this bar? I built this bar with my bare hands, found the finest wood, and planed it just so. But do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? NO!"
"You see that house out the window? I built that with my bare hands, blood, sweat and tears, too. Do they call me McGreggor the house builder? NO!"
"You see that pier on the lake? I built that with my own bare hands, drove the pickings against the tide and the sand, plank by plank, but do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? NO!"
The old man looks around to make sure no one is listening, and then leans in to the younger man.
"But you fuck one goat!!!!"     ~ McGreggor the.....

Wife was cleaning 12 year old son's bedroom, when she finds a serious load of bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband, "what do we do?"

Husband says, "I'm no expert, but I wouldn't fucking spank him."     ~ D-TRAIN