Us - 750 jokes
How many
guns do the US need to combat an
enemy?
Two: one to
shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.
37
gun jokes"Dad, whats the difference between a
pussy and a
cunt?" a young son asks.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "thats a pussy son."
"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"No son" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"
80
pussy jokesThis
dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog,
idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!
Now read without the
word dog.
76
dog jokesA
man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous
Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir,
You leave house.
I watch house.
He come to house. I watch.
He and she leave house. I follow.
He and she go in hotel. I climb tree.
I look in window.
He kiss she. She kiss he.
He strip she. She strip he.
He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall off tree.
I not see.
No fee, Chen Lee.
68
sex jokesChinese: "Me not come to work, me sick."
Boss: "When I'm sick I have
sex with my
wife, try it."
Later chinese called back: "It worked. Me better. You got nice house!"
66
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