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An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.

He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.

He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response.

Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"

She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"

46     wife jokes


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."

The doctor said: "I didn't say that. I said, You've got a heart murmur - be careful."

41     doctor jokes


A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist's office having her annual checkup, when she heard the doctor talking to himself as he examined her: "My, what a big vagina! ... My, what a big vagina!"

The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the assertive type she spoke up immediately: "Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! I think it's incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To say such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!"

"I'm very sorry," replied the doctor, "please forgive me. But just to set the record straight, I only said it ONCE Once once ..."

39     vagina jokes


Once, there was a man who was so upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor.

"Father, I am sinful."

"Yes, son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you."

"Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her."

"That's bad my boy, fortunately you realize your mistake."

"Father, last week I went to my grilfriend's office to look for her, but nobody was around except for one of her colleagues, so I slept with her too."

"That's not very good of you."

"Father, last month, I went to her uncle's house to look for her, nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too."

"Father? ... Father?"

Suddenly this guy realized that there was no response from the Father, he walked over and discovered that the Pastor was not there. So he began searching for him.

"Father? Where are you?"

He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano.

"Father, why are you hiding here?"

"Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me."

39     sex jokes


I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her.

5     wife jokes




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