Jokes - Eyes


 


Wives · Eyes · Husbands · Seeing · Money
woman,rosesA man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
4 Comments · Details
Blondes · Flashlights · Eyes · Ears
blonde:2How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

Shine a flashlight in her ear.
16 Comments · Details


Mental · Mental Hospitals · Men · Holes
man,weedA guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "... 13 ... 13 ... 13 ..."

The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned "... 14 ... 14 ... 14 ..."
3 Comments · Details


Women · Balls · Eyes · Men
woman,haircutWhy do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

Because they don't have balls to scratch.
2 Comments · Details
Doctors · Masturbating · Masturbation · Eyes
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."

The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
1 Comment · Details


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