Speed Jokes

What not to say to the nice policeman:

Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good Job!

Traffic Signs · School · Speed · Teachers

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.

Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Joseph: The sign said, "SCHOOL AHEAD. GO SLOW!"

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Lepers · Speed · Feet

Why was the leper caught speeding?

He couldn't take his foot off the accelerator.

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Trains · Cows · Speed

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.

Within five minutes, however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

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Speed Jokes

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