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Speed jokes

15 jokes about speeds



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A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.

Within five minutes, however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

6     → Joke


Do you know what the death rate around here is?

One per person.

34     → Joke


Why was the leper caught speeding?

He couldn't take his foot off the accelerator.

20     → Joke


Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.

Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Joseph: The sign said, "SCHOOL AHEAD. GO SLOW!"

39     → Joke


Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

20     → Joke


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