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Lip Jokes
Top 20 Jokes about Lips




Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.


How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.


Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.

Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"

Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl, Susie. Her braces are too darned sharp."


Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties.

Astounded reporters asked what the message was, to which she replied "Read my lips. No more Bush"


One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if they could name some things you can suck!"

"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.

"Good, Mary." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?". "How about a lollipop!" said Steven.

"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said.

Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".

The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"

Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."





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