Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice!
A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "... 13 ... 13 ... 13 ..."
The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned "... 14 ... 14 ... 14 ..."