Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word "definitely" in a sentence.
Little Johnny replies: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher says: "Of course not Johnny."
To which Johnny replies: "Then I have definitely shit my pants."