Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq. During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"
The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."
A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has sex with the camel. He asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"
The elephant asked the camel: "Why do you have your breasts on your back?"
The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face."
A Saudi was being interviewed at the US Embassy to obtain visa.
Consul: "Your name please?"
Saudi: "Six time a week."
Consul: "I mean, male or female?"
Saudi: "Both male and female sometime even camels."
Consul: "Holy cow!"
Saudi: "Yes, cows & dogs too."
Consul: "Man, isn't that hostile?"
Saudi: "Horse style, dog style, any style!"
Consul: "Oh dear!"