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Top 20 Jokes about Being


"Don't forget you are what you eat."

"I need to eat a skinny person."Share

What did the confused bee say?

To bee or not to bee!Share

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.Share

The 5 worst things about being a penis is ...

1. You have a hole in your head.

2. Your best friend is a cunt.

3. Your next door neighbors are 2 nuts and an asshole.

4. Every time you get excited you throw up.

5. You always are wearing a collar.Share

Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.

Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Joseph: The sign said, "SCHOOL AHEAD. GO SLOW!"Share

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