"Mommy, Mommy, can I have a cookie?"
"Yes, the cookies are on the top shelf."
"But Mommy, I haven't got any arms!"
Why did they stop the leper baseball game?
Dinner lady: "It's very rude to reach over the table for cakes, haven't you got a tongue in your head?"
A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"
"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."
"Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us?"
"You already know your little brother has no arms and legs!"