Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."
Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"
Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."
Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"
Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4?"
Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"
Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?"
Little Johnny: "Nine."
Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight."
Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!"
Father: "What did you learn in school today?"
Son: "That three and three are seven."
Father: "Three and three are six!"
Son: "I guess I didn't learn anything today then!"
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+ 2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!"
The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"