There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
Teacher: "I'm glad to see your writing has improved."
Little Johnny: "Thank you!"
Mother: "What did you learn in school today?"
Son: "How to write!"
Mother: "What did you write?"
Son: "I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!"
A worker was called on the carpet by his supervisor for talking back to his foreman. "Is it true that you called him a liar?
"Yes, I did."
"Did you call him stupid?"
"And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole?"