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Swimming Jokes
Top Jokes about Swimming




Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!"


"Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia."

"Shut up and keep swimming."


"Mommy, Mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?"

"Shut up and get back in the sack!"


What's yellow and can't swim?

A bulldozer!


Yo momma is so fat, when she jumped in the ocean the Whales started singing "We are family ..."





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