Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.28 Ghost Jokes
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death ... we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"22 Marriage Jokes
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.25 Death Jokes
"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through … Why change now?"
The man leaned forward and explained: "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."
There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.24 Monkey Jokes
The police chief asks: "What were the people doing on the bus?"
The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun.
The chief asks: "Yeah, but what else were they doing?".
The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.
The chief says: "Oh! They were drinking, huh?!" The chief continues, "Okay, were they doing anything else?"
The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.
The chief loses his patience: "If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?"
The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.
Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?"3 Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny: "I don't know, I wasn't invited!"