Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.16 Patient Jokes
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!"
Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released.19 Short jokes
Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says: "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"
Jon says: "I'd be half blind."
"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?"
"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.
The doctor asks Dan: "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"
Dan says: "I'd be half blind."
The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears?"
"I'd be completely blind."
"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor.
"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes."