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Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." Little Susie thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Why do men want their brides to wear white?
Because they want their dishwasher to match their fridge and stove!
The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two. The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course. The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable. The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the following note: "Dear Friends, we didn't mind the bed slats being sawed. The electric shock was only a minor setback. But I swear by God Almighty, I'm going to kill whoever put novocaine in the condom!"
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."
A couple on honeymoon in hotel room undressing. The groom removes his socks and the bride asks: "What's wrong with your feet, your toes look all mangled?"
Groom: "I had Tolio as a child." Bride: "You mean Polio?" Groom: "No Tolio, the disease only affected my toes." The groom then removes his pants and the bride asks: "What is wrong with your knees, they are lumpy and deformed?" Groom: "As a child I had Kneasles." Bride: "You mean Measles?" Groom: "No Kneasles, a strange illness that only affected my knees." The Bride then removes his boxers and the bride asks: "Why are you spotted?" Groom: "As a child I had smallpox." Bride: "I hope you don't mean SmallCox!"