Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?"
Little Johnny: "The wrong answer!"
What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
About 45 pounds.
What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?
45 minutes.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
A guy goes to the doctor.
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.