You - 923 jokes
46 funeral jokes47 sex jokes
When I was younger I hated going to weddings
. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
46 government jokes
today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle
to a condom
because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.Damn
, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.
49 sex jokes
The husband says to wife
: "My Olympic condoms
have arrived. Think I will wear gold
The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change?"
49 sex jokesNext page Jokesyou sayings
was standing in a crowded lift
of the hotel she was staying in. When a man
got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast
The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit
, you'll forgive me."
So the woman replies, "If your dick
is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."