You - 923 jokes
When I was younger I hated going to
weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals.
46
funeral jokes47
sex jokesThe
government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an
eagle to a
condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.
46
government jokesThe husband says to
wife: "My
Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear
gold tonight."
The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change?"
49
sex jokesA
woman was standing in a crowded
lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a
man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the
breast.
The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your
tit, you'll forgive me."
So the woman replies, "If your
dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
49
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