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Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

74     → Joke


I want to suck you ... lick you ... wanna move my tongue all over you ... wanna feel you in my mouth ... yep, that's how you ... eat an ice cream!

33     → Joke


What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?

Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are fucked up.

69     → Joke


A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Bernie Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.

"Oh my god!" she screamed, "Bernie Schwartz is dead!"

70     → Joke


What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

66     → Joke


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