You jokes

Chinese: "Me not come to work, me sick."

Boss: "When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it."

Later chinese called back: "It worked. Me better. You got nice house!"

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Johnny asks his grandpa, "do you still have sex with granny?"

Grandpa says, "Yes, but only oral."

Johnny asks, "What is oral?"

Grandpa says, "I say fuck you, she says fuck you, too."

"Tell me a bedtime story."

"Fuck you."

"That's my favourite."

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer.

When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore."

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.

So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"

Johnny said, "Yes."

"Well, what did the principal say?"

"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me a pocket full of lollies and asked for my phone number ..."