You jokes

What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

A man says to his wife: "Tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."

His wife replies: "You have a bigger willy than your brother!"

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

A husband buys his wife a car for Christmas ...

"I don't like it" she says, "I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."

So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker!"