Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Kentucky State Lottery?27 Lottery Jokes
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."9 Job Jokes
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.6 Law Jokes
The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.
A man is in Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"42 Hospital Jokes
The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."
Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"
A couple on honeymoon in hotel room undressing. The groom removes his socks and the bride asks: "What's wrong with your feet, your toes look all mangled?"38 Sex JokesNext page JokesWrong Sayings
Groom: "I had Tolio as a child."
Bride: "You mean Polio?"
Groom: "No Tolio, the disease only affected my toes."
The groom then removes his pants and the bride asks: "What is wrong with your knees, they are lumpy and deformed?"
Groom: "As a child I had Kneasles."
Bride: "You mean Measles?"
Groom: "No Kneasles, a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The Bride then removes his boxers and the bride asks: "Why are you spotted?"
Groom: "As a child I had smallpox."
Bride: "I hope you don't mean SmallCox!"