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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

16     → Joke


A worker was called on the carpet by his supervisor for talking back to his foreman. "Is it true that you called him a liar?

"Yes, I did."

"Did you call him stupid?"

"Yes."

"And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole?"

"No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?"

22     → Joke


How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?

Write a whole note with "solo" above it.

3     → Joke


A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff's neighborhood.

"How often a week do you have sex with your wife?" asked the inquirer.

"Three times," Jeff said without hesitation.

"That is once more often than your neighbor," the inquirer said, writing.

"That makes sense," Jeff said, "after all, she's my wife."

34     → Joke


Proposal

Teacher: "I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you've only done it 7 times?"

Little Johnny: "Looks like my counting isn't too good either!"

7     → Joke


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