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Worker jokes

17 jokes about workers


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A worker was called on the carpet by his supervisor for talking back to his foreman. "Is it true that you called him a liar?

"Yes, I did."

"Did you call him stupid?"

"Yes."

"And did you call him an opinionated, egomaniac asshole?"

"No, but would you write that down so I can remember it?"

21    


Two guys work for the city: one furiously digs a hole, the other quickly fills the hole.

A confused passerby asks: "Why do you dig a hole and fill it up again?"

The digger leans on his shovel and replies: "The lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today."

9    


light bulb
Two bone weary public servants were working their little hearts and souls out. Their department was just too busy for staff to be able take flex. But there had to be a way ...

One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. "I know how to get some time off work" the man whispered.

"How?" asked the second worker.

Instead of answering, the man quickly looked around. No sign of his Director. He jumped up on his desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted himself up. "Look!" he hissed, then swinging his legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.

Within seconds, the Director emerged from the Branch Head's office at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing.

"I'm a light bulb" answered the public servant.

"I think you need some time off," barked the Director. "Get out of here - that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?"

"Yes sir", the public servant answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off his computer and left.

The second worker was hot on his heels.

"Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked.

"Home," he said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."

9    


A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger.

"I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."

17    

money

Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?

Because it was an early bird!

3    

red bird

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