Word Jokes
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Chemist's last words

1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...

19     Chemist Jokes


A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.

"That's it, I can never remember that word."

13     Aspirin Jokes


To err is human; effective mayhem requires the root password!

8     Human Jokes


A fellow was about to enter a bar when a dog tugged at his trouser leg and said to him, "Hey, pal! Wanna make some quick money?"

The man couldn't believe his ears. He said to the dog, "Can you talk?"

"Yeah," the dog answered, "and that's how we can pick up some easy money. You take me into the bar with you, pretend I'm your dog, and bet everybody I can talk."

The fellow thought that was a great idea, so he took the dog into the bar, set it on the bar, and announced to everyone that the dog could talk. The other patrons didn't believe him, and it wasn't long before several thousand dollars had been bet. Finally, after all the bets had been placed, the guy said to the dog, "All right, go ahead and say something."

Nothing.

He told the dog again, "Hey! All the bets are placed! Say something, for God's sake!"

The dog just looked at him and whined.

He, asked again and again, but the dog wouldn't say a word. Finally, the fellow had to pay all the bets, scooped up the dog in disgust and walked out. Once outside, he screamed at the dog, "You just cost me way over a thousand dollars! You got anything to say before I seriously boot your mangy arse?"

"Take it easy, pal! You ain't thinkin'," the dog answered. "Tomorrow night, we'll be able to get odds of fives or better."

12     Dog Jokes


Proposal

Little Porny was bored, so she decided to go see what her mother was doing. As she walked into her mother's room, she heard her say: "Shit!" She asked her mother what that meant and her mother said: "Dear, it's just another word for make-up".

So she goes on her way past her brothers room, she hears him say: "Cunt and tits" Sshe goes in and asks: "What does that mean?" He says: "Ooh thats another word for coats and hats."

She goes down-stairs to the kitchen to get a drink and again hears her dad say: "Fuck!" She asks: "Daddy what does that means?" "Aah! my little one, thats another word for stuffing the turkey."

So she comfortably gets her drink and goes to watch a movie. Few minutes later, the door bell rings, she runs to get it opened and says: "Come in, can I take your cunts and tits? Mom is up-stairs putting shit on her face, daddy is down stairs fucking the turkey!"

6     Short jokes






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