Won - 63 jokes
2 → Joke
once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess
. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse
kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.
76 → Joke
"Dad, whats the difference between a pussy
and a cunt
?" a young son asks.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "thats a pussy son."
"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"No son" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"
72 → Joke
went into a library
and asked for a book on how to commit suicide
The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
66 → Joke
A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents
bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh ... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
The boy says, "That won't work."
His mom says, "Why?"
The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"
37 → JokeNext page Back to home
One day a man went to an auction
. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot
. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid. The price was high but the fine bird was finally his!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"