A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves
would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties
for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I were there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!
All my love.
P. S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
A Chinese Homosexual Jewish man walks to a bar. He says to bartender
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Shit's be rough
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me asian. I eat shit by the way, as I am a homosexual.
Bartender: Wow, cool!
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.
He comes back the next day.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: I control the world. By the way, any Cocker Spaniels for this Rothschild?
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Me eat dog and read torah.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar without paying because he's a stingy Jew.
Corpse of Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man arrives next day.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man: Can me have whisky, me son happens to be gay.
Chinese Homosexual Jewish Man leaves the bar and gets in his car before driving off and crashing into a lightpole and dying. ~ Bill Gates Son