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Will jokes

125 jokes about wills



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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

18     microsoft jokes


A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.

When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."

"No!! Someone may see – a relative, a neighbor ..."

"At this time of the night? No one will show up ..."

"I've already said No, and NO!"

"Honey, it's just a small blowie ... I know you'd like it, too ..."

"No! I've said NO!"

"My love ... Don't be like that ..."

At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"

19     blowjob jokes


When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.

Three days later, she became his stepmother.

28     money jokes


Proposal

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!”

The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other guy will do.

The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

3     Short jokes


A policeman sent his wife and child to a sea resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love with his wife.

"No darling, we can't do it here, what if the kid wakes up?"

"You are right, lets go to the beach."

They went to the empty beach and start to make love. All of a sudden, a policeman run into them.

"Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public."

"You are right", said the husband, "but it was a moment of weakness. We didn't see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me."

"Don't worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it."

30     sex jokes






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