"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.40 Sex Jokes
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.26 Cop Jokes
"You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?"
"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"20 Breakfast Jokes
"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.20 Money Jokes
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.30 Sex JokesNext page JokesWife Sayings
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."