86 jokes about wives
approached a very beautiful woman
in the large supermarket
and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits
like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"
The husband says to wife: "My Olympic condoms
have arrived. Think I will wear gold
The wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change?"
and his wife were having a big argument
at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed
either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion
staggers into a hospital
with concussion, Multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
The doctor asked "What happened to you?"
"Well I was playing Golf
with my wife when we sliced our golf balls into a field of cows. I found one stuck in a cows fanny, I yelled to my wife 'this looks like yours', I don't remember much after that ..."
buys his wife a car
"I don't like it" she says, "I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."
So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker